Tired

For the past few days I have had Indi by my side. All day every day. Except for the one day I told her that as long as she didn't hurt the other kids she could go play. That lasted a couple of hours. Now she is back by my side. I really don't know what else to do. I don't think this is fun for either one of us. Having resources is great, but the actual work is really hard. I hope some day soon, like tomorrow, I will have the patience to really help Indi.

Definition of Adapting

Adapt means to adjust oneself to different conditions. Our family is going through a huge adjustment right now and I don't think it is easy for any of us. I don't mean to sound arrogant, but I think the key to our success will be determined by my ability to adapt to our new situation. I am the mother and I have noticed (especially lately) that my kids look to me on how to react when things are changing.

This is especially true when dealing with Indi. I noticed that when I am impatient with Indi the boys are too. When I am loving and thoughtful with Indi, the boy try harder to be the same why. I know I need to be calm and patient for Indi's sake, but I also need to do it for the boys.

Now I am changing the subject. Thanks to my friend Shally, I have found so many resources to help me parent a child with trauma and attachment issues. It is so comforting to know that others are experiencing the same thing. I love Indi and I am so grateful that she is a part of our family. I have hope for her future knowing there are resources for me to turn to in order to help her feel safe and that is an important part of our family.

Strugglilng

As I start to write yet another common post on my blog, I try to think of way to sound eloquent. To write words that people want to absorb into their very soul and have the desire to come back for more. But that is not what is on my mind, especially not today. JR's sister Rhonda came to town and put in hours and hours of work to turn JR's mom house into a home. She was on the home stretch when time ran out and she had to fly back to Oregon. The past week all I have wanted to do was to help. I am willing to put in the work but I am a package deal. I come with five kids and a limited amount of time. This has been very discouraging for me. I also wanted to help my neighbor work in her yard before her son gets home from his mission tomorrow.

My pack and I usually become more of a hindrance than a help so I have come to the conclusion that my place is definitely in the home. Not just any home, but our home. The chaos that erupts when we leave is traumatic for all. Everyone wants to pitch in and help which could be a good lesson for kids to learn but, by the time we are done helping there is more mess than there was to begin with.

Ya know the saying there is a time and season for everything... well this is the season of only doing activities that will decrease the chaos instead creating more. Parks...good... swimming... good. Construction and painting...bad. Now I know my limits and I am willing to stick to them.

Someday I will have the time to move out of my circle of chaos but I think that will be years in the future when my kids are older and my house is clean (ha ha). For now I will love and teach my children in a contained environment that will allow me to focus on their well being and cause the least amount of pain to others.

New Girls

Ok so I am a little behind in posting on my blog, but after reading other blogs I think I need to be a little more consistent. So here is the update... As we anxiously awaited at the Salt Lake air port March 12, two little girls arrived from Tennessee to become part of our family forever. I know the girls weren't exactly what I expected and apparently I wasn't what they expected either.
Indi was a blond haired, green eye, little ball of energy. And Sara was a very shy, tall, skinny two year old. They clung to their uncle with uncertainty and we walked to the van to make the drive to their new home. Indi commented that she thought I would be skinny like her other mom. Sara stayed quiet with her eyes wide in tense observation. The boys tried hard to be on their best behavior, which lasted about a day.
Since that first day of anxious energy, things have become more relaxed and familiar to everyone. There are tantrums and fighting with a mixture of hugs and kisses from everyone. The love for the girls didn't come instantly, it grew slowly and has blossomed into a very protective and sincere kind of love. I look forward to the day the adoption is final and we can be sealed to them for eternity.
Needless to say the past couple of months have been busy and time to do hobbies has become almost extinct. Now my time is up, JR is home and the kids are hungry.