A Blog That No One Reads

The good thing about having a blog that no one reads is that I can type whatever I want without worrying that someone will think I'm crazy. (I am crazy) Right now, this is what is going on in my life. I am the mom of five great kids. I really love them, ALL of them. Including Indi. I have so much compassion for her. She has been through so much in her short life. I wish I knew the best way to parent and love her. I want to give her what she needs, I just have no idea how to do that.
The next part of my life I have decided to work on is my weight. Yes, as shocking as this may sound to some, I know I am fat. I have been for years. I miss being able to run, hike, swim and do all the other enjoyable skinny people activities. So I have decided I am going to do something about it. I am going to lose weight. It sounds like a simple statement but it's not. I have tried many times before with very little success. The difference between this attempt and other attempts is that I am going to give myself time. I am going to give myself at least a year. With other tries I have given myself only weeks. I am going to make little changes like giving up soda. I know I have done that before but I have never replace it with anything. I am replacing it with water, a lot of water. I am putting myself out there, on display for the world to see (if they choose to read my blog). So good luck to me and my goals to make life better for me and my family. Blogger Out.

CONSISTENCY

Alright, I haven't been very consistent with Indi this morning and it is showing. I get a little laxed in my effort to keep her by my side and she starts being bossy and getting into thing. I talked to her family therapist who told me I was doing a good thing and to keep it up. Easier said than done. I hope some day I see a difference.

Tired

For the past few days I have had Indi by my side. All day every day. Except for the one day I told her that as long as she didn't hurt the other kids she could go play. That lasted a couple of hours. Now she is back by my side. I really don't know what else to do. I don't think this is fun for either one of us. Having resources is great, but the actual work is really hard. I hope some day soon, like tomorrow, I will have the patience to really help Indi.

Definition of Adapting

Adapt means to adjust oneself to different conditions. Our family is going through a huge adjustment right now and I don't think it is easy for any of us. I don't mean to sound arrogant, but I think the key to our success will be determined by my ability to adapt to our new situation. I am the mother and I have noticed (especially lately) that my kids look to me on how to react when things are changing.

This is especially true when dealing with Indi. I noticed that when I am impatient with Indi the boys are too. When I am loving and thoughtful with Indi, the boy try harder to be the same why. I know I need to be calm and patient for Indi's sake, but I also need to do it for the boys.

Now I am changing the subject. Thanks to my friend Shally, I have found so many resources to help me parent a child with trauma and attachment issues. It is so comforting to know that others are experiencing the same thing. I love Indi and I am so grateful that she is a part of our family. I have hope for her future knowing there are resources for me to turn to in order to help her feel safe and that is an important part of our family.