Foster kids are leaving

I have so many mixed feeling right now. Dallin Nevaeh and Mickelle are going to Georgia Friday. I have to ship all thier toys and cloths, get ready for 5 hours of flying, pack up my kids to grandma and grandpa T's house, go to one more doctor appointment for Mickelle, one more visitation for the parents, parent teacher conferences tommorow, and I think that is it. Mixed in with all of this are the emotions of sending the away after loving them for six months. I talked to a lady at church who said it wasn't hard for her when her foster kids left. Some days I look foreward to the break and other days I don't know what I am going to do without them. I am also worried about taking care of 3 kids on an airplane. It' a good thing JR and the kids aunt Jen are going too. I am sure it will all work out ok, it is just the process of getting there is a little stressful.

pictures

We went to the park and I took some pictures of the kids. Dallin is 6, Nevaeh is 4 and Mickelle is 19 months. Anthony will be 11 in January ( I can hardly believe it!), Isaac is 8 and is getting baptized in Dec., and AJ is 6. That is the crew!

Another day

The kids had visitation today. I think visitation is hard on everyone. The kids get to have one hour a week of undivided attention from thier parents. I think it can be so confusing for them. Dalllin seem so angry after. He whines and cries and I know he doesn't understand why he can't go home. The parents only have one hour a week to spend with thier kids which I think would be really hard. I don't know how much they care though. Today the mom showed up 10 minutes before visitation ended. I get frustrated that they are always late and make up lame excuses to not spend time with thier kids. Sometimes I feel like everything they say is a lie and I just want to yell at them. I have become a protective mother and I would do anything to take the confusion and hurt away. I know, I am whiney too. Wednesdays are just disruptive for everyone.
On the brighter side of life, I went to parent teacher conference today and all the kids are doing well in school. Especially Anthony, he is really having a good year so far.

Bad Day

I feel bad when I loose my temper with the kids. I yelled so much today I was scared of me. I think I need to take a parenting class because I haven't figured it out on my own over the past 10 plus years. It's the constant "he's touching me" or "he's looking at me" or "I get to be first" or "I had that first" or... all day long that really gets to me. And it is worse when we are in public or I am on the phone. I know there are people going through hard times and I am so blessed to have the six fighting kids that I have and I love them. I always wonder how President Hinkley's wife never yelled at her kids. What was her secret? I would really like to know. I want to be a better mom. Now I have to finish putting the groceries away and do another load of laundry before I go to bed. I will try to be better tommorow.